Going Within

I have considered myself a strong person – a warrior of sorts – for the challenges I have faced head-on in this lifetime and conquered.

I preach love – for others, for creatures, for Her (Gaia, Sophia, Earth Mother), for plants, rocks and all sentient beings and for self. And yet I’m struggling with love of the self.

I am going to be brutally honest because right now this feels like a struggle. I don’t like to generally use such limiting words – but it is where I am at this time.

I know deep within me, my higher self/soul/spirit (that eternal part of me) is so filled with love, gratitude and appreciation for the being that I am. I often catch myself looking at me from a higher perspective, encouraging the Magelion in this human body along with nudges of empowering words – “You’ve got this, kid,” “You are beautiful,” “You’re exactly where you need to be right now” – and yet, there’s this part of me that fights that eternal love.

It doesn’t feel like me, that “resistor.”

I don’t quite know how to describe it since the feelings I have are so strong on both sides of the line.

The devil on one shoulder and angel on the other doesn’t seem like only an idea  when discussing self vs self. Are the angel and devil part of one’s innate self or are they outside forces? 

I remind myself I’m a spiritual being having a human experience.

Still, this human experience can feel so excruciating when one remembers the true freedom of being a spiritual being.

I remember a place full of real, unconditional love – not surface level love. The love I remember is beautiful, illuminating, compassionate and empathetic. There is no competition, no “I’m better than you,” no finger pointing, no lack or want.  All needs are met. There is support and deep appreciation. Wherever that place is, you just be.

I miss this love. I miss it so much it aches within my heart.

I miss feeling free and joy within every cell of my being. 

Sometimes I question why I signed up for this when the human experience is so intense and emotional.

How does one genuinely create, maintain and sustain this love from within, when the pressures of this experience become super-charged?

I want to generate and radiate this deep love from within me out – to everyone and everything I encounter. I was doing that up until the beginning of the year.

Then, like a candle extinguished, that light went out. I just can’t find the matches or a lighter to reignite it right now.

Know Thyself

(Even when you aren’t liking what you’re seeing)

With love,

The Magelion  


Skydiving Through the Clouds of Belief

If there’s one thing North America is plentiful in, it’s beliefs. Western culture is right, Western religion is right and if you’re considered a superpower, you have not only the right, but the duty to save the world in the name of peace.

If you can’t sense the sarcasm in my words, let me tell you, it’s there.  

Those who follow mainstream news outlets are pumped full of disinformation but, if it comes from a “reputable” source, it has to be true. The same goes for other forms of reputable information: books, journals, magazines, research papers, etc.

I can say I’m a bird but that doesn’t make me one.

We are led to believe that other cultures are wrong – in fact, in extreme cases they are terrorists out to kill us all – and that we need to be VERY afraid. Oh, and in order to remove this fear, we must kill as many of these “different” people as possible to show the others we will not stand for their beliefs and that our way is right. Is there not something fundamentally wrong with this “my way or the highway” belief system? Perhaps we should examine why we are feeling fear and if, in fact, these fears are logical. These are human lives we are talking about.

The same goes for religion: I will come to your country and force my beliefs upon you because they are right. I’m just trying to save your soul because it’s what my god wants me to do. I am right and you are wrong. Let me blindly tell you why: it’s because I’m right and you are wrong.  Oh – oops – I didn’t consider that I don’t really know why I’m right and you’re wrong.  I think it’s because that’s what I was told.   

Are you seeing the ludicracy in these beliefs?

We’re loaded up with ideas, beliefs and thoughts about how we should be:

  • Women who don’t fit the runway model body type are fat (so be skinny – and to do that, eat low fat everything, depriving your body of nutrients it needs to perform and think properly);
  • Being a slave to the almighty dollar is normal. After all, we need it to survive;
  • Eat this delicious looking fake food to become miraculously healthy like the joyful person in the ad, even if it’s loaded with impossible-to-pronounce ingredients and chemicals;
  • Your vote makes a difference in the greatest puppet show on Earth;
  • If you have a dis-ease, mental illness or other symptoms, ignore what your body is telling you and take this lab created goody that might, by the way (said as fast as possible in a pleasant voice) CauseSevereAnalLeakage, VomitingOfTheNipples, or SproutingNewLimbs. But make sure you contact your doctor if this happens and it will all be okay;
  • If you feel your body has an imperfection, buy a new penis, face or suck the fat out of your ass and inject it into your cheeks;
  • Normal body odors must be masked by an excessive variety of products;
  • Women: having your period is a dirty & shameful thing, so make sure you buy the flower scented tampons and douches so you can still jump off the diving board with complete confidence;
  • We all must look the same and think the same, because being different is wrong. And bad. 
  • And the list goes on.

Are you seeing something wrong here? It seems all these ideas so conveniently provided to us are showing us how to think and what to believe.  Isn’t that called brainwashing, kids? 

Beliefs are just that: beliefs. Have you ever examined why you believe certain things? Are there certain ideas that are harder to let go of than others? Those are the ones that could really use your attention.  Why do they have such a stronghold?

Examining our beliefs about everything is important – and yes, that’s my belief.  But when you get to the root about why you believe something and what emotions that belief provides you with, does it help you or hold you back from realizing what you are truly capable of?

Beliefs have the ability to imprison us and impose limits upon what we can do as humans. So many of the beliefs we are given serve to separate rather than bring us together. This planet needs us to come together. We need to change things, wake up and take back the control of our minds and our thoughts. 

The only way to make a lasting change is by starting with yourself.  Fix you.  Stop trying to fix others.

At times, it may feel like a free fall, but people pay good money to skydive. Will you join me in skydiving with a purpose?  Let’s do this together.

Know Thyself

With love,

The Magelion